1. |
Willful Feelings
02:44
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You shouldn’t trust me
I can’t decide
Whether my instincts
Care what is right
If good is inherent
It’s hard to find
Beneath the conceit
In our design
They say we’re the only
Capable of charity
But I would be lying
To make a claim
Of any decisions
That aren’t in vain
When even my giving
Could be explained
By the willful feelings
That overtake me
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2. |
Dry Land
02:23
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Feed me make yourself proud
Fill my mouth up until I drown
You pull me onto dry land
And choke me out with the same two hands
We die and never come back
And each of us has to learn from scratch
So I’m left to follow my gut
But who in the fuck can I trust when my own blood
Lies to me
Leads my mouth to drink
And then punishes me in the morning
I have no
Kind of hold
To pull myself from cold grief
That fills my heart with warning
So I fight but I can’t stop the bite of these teeth
Don’t you flatter yourself
We give or we take but we’re only selfish
Just blinking counting our days
Watching the shadows upon this cave
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3. |
Spectator
02:30
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Two blocks down on the corner
A crowd is beginning gather now to watch the scene unfold
And already a man is instructing them all to please just go back home
Their thoughts are not with the family
Who stands there shaking in mourning as the workers clean the street
Their eyes are all locked on the motionless form underneath a thin white sheet
Thinking she
Had to be
No different from me
Please
All my peace
Depends on the secrets
Of why these bones
Serve as our homes for a moment and after that we just don’t know
I am the son of the offspring
Of some who succumbed to their bodies and now I’m stuck here in my own
Hoping to god that I wont be stuck forever in this soul
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4. |
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Shivering
I am looking in at
People that I call my friends
Just a sillhouette
With a cigarette
And no idea who I am
There were songs in these eyes
But now they’re gone
If only I had held the light in
Flashing teeth
They are smiling
So happy to burn through their time
And I don’t know when
But I lost the will to savor mine
Now they’re all
Stumbling to some other house
Though I’ve tried I can’t find any interest now
It takes
The guilt of just a small mistake
To puncture the joy
So its poisoned by doubt
I just wanted to face the expanse
But those dead ends have come to haunt me
I had tried to understand
How I should operate this body
And I was sure, but I was wrong
If only I had held the light in
The darkness would be gone
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5. |
Wild Again
03:11
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I read the advice in your letter
To see myself without a filter
So tonight I have locked all my doors
And I’m down on all fours
Wild again
The dawnlight is slowly approaching
Eyes open to slow down the spinning
I bet you’d be proud of me now
Lost in my own house
I can’t find a way out
I used to believe
That shame only came on display
To the others
But I was wrong
I’m here by myself and the feeling is strong
I’m learning to split into portions
The pain that comes sharp with the morning
I take some with coffee and then
I bring some back to bed
And wait for a dream
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6. |
Made To Scavenge
03:14
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A knock on my door
Woke me this morning
Made by the hand
Of a well-dressed woman
Who’d set aside
Part of her morning
To ask me if I know why I’m alive
She walked by a man
Who scours the alley
Each day for cans
To trade for money
To buy a chance
To play the lottery
And when he doesn’t win, he starts the cycle again
Made to scavenge
Like an animal
So I cannot help
But watch him searchin
For lucky breaks
Just like a vulture
And wonder if
His sense of purpose is any less than what I’m gettin here
Bettered by wealth
and education
But just as unsettled
and impatient
I am too easily sustained
I can’t sleep
If I am made to obey
Then why this brain
This plague of intellect that infects
Any peaceful state
Cause I can’t say
If anything
Is meaningful
Or some impulse to trick me into
Another day
Of this grey
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7. |
No Answers
02:21
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No answers
No absolutes
All theories
With no kind of proof
Clinging on to what we were told
In our youth
I know what they believe I just don’t
Know why now
With all that we’ve learned
Still no answers
With no stone unturned
I know I’m never gonna be right
And so I
I’m filling my belly tonight
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8. |
Paper and Concrete
02:51
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In the dark of night
When the last drop of blind youth
Has left you
You will wake to find
That you have been lied to
You're nothing more
Than cells, same as the ones that surround you
And the will to make
And build what there isn't
Before you
Now will break
This paper and concrete
Are nothing new
Just earth moved and glued, stuck to you
I warned you
There's no use
Trying to win
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9. |
Black Bay
04:27
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Black bay where’d you go
I can’t find any light from your boats
And it only makes me feel more alone
Grey fog don’t you tire
Of the dark isolation of night
I know that the pressure gives you life
I know that the truth comes with the quiet
But I’m just so afraid of mine
So I blame the ones that I love
When I am no one to act as a judge
I know the bottle’s not best
But I’m just so starved for some kind of rest
From these lungs
And my tied tongue
What makes a man cave
To the simple escape from his days
Is it only a triumph over fear
Of what happens when waking cease to be
Or do we secretly love these tears
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10. |
Come Back
02:11
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I cursed my reactions
I cursed all my flaws
When I found my perfection
My color was lost
So I prayed for a reason
I prayed to your ghost
Of all the hearts I've abandoned
I miss mine the most
Come back, I know I was wrong
Come back, the night is too long
To carry on
Now I mourn for my instincts
I mourn for my glow
Now the warmth that your voice brings
Is all that I long to know
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